Epiphany

So the participatory caption post was not a huge hit, but it did kind of serve to remind me that whenever I write on this blog, my words go out into the wide, vast webosphere – accessible to everybody, but more than likely just getting lost among all the rest of the Internet clutter. It’s a good thing I haven’t quit my day job, no?

I have been feeling like something is missing in my writing since I started this blog back in July. At first I chalked it up to “finding my voice” and trying to figure out the way I want to do things, without getting side-tracked by the way every other blogger is doing their stuff. At some points, I felt like I was on the verge of a breakthrough, but I would go right back to scrambling desperately to put words on a page.

Why?

Because I wasn’t writing about what thrilled me. I was cranking out posts in the vain hope that quantity would eventually turn into quality and as such, lost the point of writing in the first place.

The truth is, I really don’t like to write about myself and the day-to-day things that occupy my time. I go about my day and it’s usually the same as the day before. Ninety nine percent of the time, the meals I eat were similar to what I ate the day before and what I will eat the day after. I can only post so many pictures of overnight oats before my brain starts to rebel and refuses to put my thoughts into words on a keyboard.

I just went through my day, the last thing I want to do is re-live it. Well, most of the time. There are instances that are worth living and reliving, but sometimes it’s sufficient to live through Body Pump and end it at that, without the need to re-cap my lunge track in great detail.

This is not meant to be an affront to those who do write about their daily lives – many have heavy readerships and find great satisfaction in using the blogosphere as a virtual diary in real-time. I really enjoy reading many of these blogs and getting a peek into the lives of people who may be all the way across the country but still feel like friends.

It’s just that in my personal experience, I find myself writing a blog post and then laying awake at night, consumed by all the dreams and musings inside my head that never manifested themselves on here the way I hoped they would, causing me to write mental notes with my eyes closed when I really should be asleep.

Notes about how I really need to live somewhere with sunshine in perpetuity. How I should quit my job and work on an organic farm in the south of France or the coast of Italy. How feeding people makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

In my quest for whimsy, I took a wrong turn and ended up at frivolity.

I don’t want my writing space to be an amalgamation of hurried sentences and incoherent thoughts – I want it to be a space for me to showcase my passions through the medium of writing and the lens of food.

Because I love food. Really, I do.

I love travel and new cultures and learning, but especially as it relates to food and eating.

Does this mean I’m abandoning my self-proclaimed “healthy living” and wellness title? Not necessarily. But it does mean that the next time I hit ‘Publish’, I will be proud to know that whatever is being sent out in the world wide web of ours is a reflection of who I am, truly.

Melodrama aside, I am thinking long and hard about where I want this to go. In the grand scheme of things, this is really only a blog and maybe I shouldn’t be over-analyzing the situation so much. But as I find myself becoming more and more immersed in the creative process involved with producing something like this, I think it is worth a moment of reflection.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful day/afternoon/night and I hope that you will still be reading tomorrow!

Much love,

S